


Shame

by viridianmasquerade



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Black Romance, Blackrom, F/M, after the chair conversation, gamrezi, on the meteor, unhealthy relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-09-28
Updated: 2013-09-28
Packaged: 2017-12-27 20:02:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 876
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/983026
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/viridianmasquerade/pseuds/viridianmasquerade
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Feeling ashamed of herself after her conversation with Karkat atop the meteor, all Terezi wants to do is curl up in bed and sleep off her soda hangover. Her kismesis, however, has other ideas, and she doesn't know if she can hold out.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Shame

“Where the motherfuck you been, girl?” Poison gas whispers hissing from the vents. Terezi’s head hurt. She didn’t want to be dealing with this right now. She looked up to see Gamzee slipping out of an opening high on the wall, landing with an echoing thunk on the hallway floor. He straightened up, grinned, licked his lips. On the prowl for sloppy hatemakeouts, no doubt. Terezi felt like she wanted to cry or vomit but wasn’t sure which.

“Nowhere,” she mumbled, pulling up her dragon hood. She kept walking, padding barefoot and silent away from him. After the embarrassing conversation she’d just had with Karkat, the last thing she needed was Gamzee and his awful mind games. She was the hero of mind, not him; it made no sense that he was able to get under her skin like this all the time.

“SURE AS FUCK AIN’T BEEN AT NOWHERE,” he growled, flash-stepping directly in front of her, leaning down to look under her hood. He smelled like sweat and old grease paint, breath like rotten faygo. Sometimes it felt like all she could smell anymore was that terrible soda. Head ducked down, she tried to step around him. All she wanted to do right now was sleep. “Been lookin’ for you,” he leered. “HONK.”

“Just leave me alone,” she said, but he continued to block her way.

“What’s all up and wrong with you, little lawmaker girl?” He tilted his head from side to side, look on his face like a kicked barkbeast. Terezi knew better than to feel bad for him.

“There is nothing wrong!” she snapped, right up in his face. He smirked, satisfied. Always knew just how to get under her skin, even when she wasn’t remotely up for it. Karkat was right, she was a disgrace. Not that he’d phrased it like that, sitting in his stupid chair, but she knew disappointment when she heard it. “I just,” she continued, more quietly, feeling disgusted with herself, “I just,” stumbling awkwardly over the words as only Gamzee could make her do. “Just leave me alone,” she finished lamely.

“WHOA BITCH,” he said, putting a hand on her shoulder, “Come the fuck on, tell it at me, girl. YOU FUCKIN’ KNOW I’D BE ALL DOWN WITH THE LISTENING. And we could get our hate makeouts on. HONK.” She shrugged him off and kept walking, concentrating as hard as she could on being not interested. But her head hurt and she knew giving in and letting out her frustrations would make her feel better right now, even if it made her even more sick of herself in the long run.

“How about if we get to poppin’ open the wicked elixir?” he offered, following behind her down the hall. His voice was a grating cocktail, shake one part pleading with two parts guilt, strain and add one part horny teenager, serve ugly in a terrible fake god tier suit. At least he had the stupid hood down.

“I don’t drink that anymore,” she said primly, focusing on putting one foot in front of the other without stopping. Above all, she didn’t want to turn around. She knew if she did she would get sucked right back into his games, no matter how badly she didn’t want to.

“LIKE HELL YOU MOTHERFUCKIN’ DON’T.” Garnish with rage, she thought, and heard the pop and hiss of a bottle being opened. “All kinds of brought your favorite flavor, too.” She could smell it even with her eyes open, rich and sugary and so fake. If she closed her eyes and tried to see with scent, it was a cloud of decadent scarlet in a dulled-out fog. A sip would be good, might clear her pounding thinkpan. She shook her head. That was the sugar talking. She’d promised Dave and Karkat, so she grit her teeth and kept walking. Her respiteblock was clownproofed now. She just needed to get there.

“Don’t, Gamzee.”

“THE HELL DID I DO!” A crash and tinkle of glass shattering on the ground; an explosion of sugar-sickening red in the air. “I’m just all wanting to up and get our makeout on, Terezi.”

She whirled around, dragon cape swirling out behind her, cheeks flushing turquoise with rage and shame. Her head hurt even more “How many times do I have to tell you that I am not interested!” snapping again, as hard as she wanted not to do this, she couldn’t help herself. At least she hadn’t had any soda. Oh yeah, she thought sardonically, Karkat would be so proud. Not even ten minutes and she was right back into the circus tent.

“HEARD THAT BEFORE,” he said with a low guttural chuckle, advancing towards her.

Terezi hissed, drawing her cane from her sylladex and brandishing it. “I hate you, you vile piece of clown trash!”

“I know, little lawmaker girl, I know.” The glint of his eyes as he advanced on her was all she could see in the dim hallway light. She heard him draw his clubs and she swung at him, heart sinking with shame. She could smell the faygo in the air, sick-sweet and seductive, blocking everything else out.

“I hate you,” she whispered, feeling tears well in her eyes.

**Author's Note:**

> Anon prompt from tumblr:
>
>> Want a challenge? Right after karkat talks to terezi in the chair, she goes off moping by herself through the meteor because she thinks karkat is disappointed with her. Gamzee finds her, expecting kinky hot hatemakeouts but shes too sad and wont react right, so he starts to feel a little bad, but more annoyed and attempts to make her feel better/do what he wants. The challenge is to try to keep them in the black quadrant.
> 
> So this one went a little off the rails compared to what the prompt was asking for, I think, but I’m really satisfied with it. I wanted to show how their relationship is gross and unhealthy but I also wanted to show that Terezi does not lack for agency. She is being manipulated and knows it, but gives in anyway because it’s satisfying in the short term. She’s making bad choices, but they are her choices. 


End file.
